Living a Life That’s Disappointing to Your Parents

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash

How They Expected Me To Be

We are raised to be good children. However, the word “good” has as many definitions, as there are families in the world.

  1. Go get a prestigious education abroad (I am from Russia)
  2. Do “manly” sports, like boxing
  3. Become a businessman like your father, uncle, and both of your grandparents.
  4. It also shouldn’t matter to you what you do as long as you make money (you are a “provider” for the family). As they say in Russia “money doesn’t smell”.
  5. Have a lot of girls early in life, and don’t settle until you date enough to call yourself “experienced”

Needless To Say, I Failed To Meet All of These Expectations

I am serious. All six.

  1. I got accepted into pretty much all the best universities in the world (my test scores were good), chose to go to a business-school and dropped out after 7 months.
  2. I tried doing boxing, but couldn’t continue due to spine problems. I found joy in running and completed a half-marathon.
  3. I started multiple businesses before 21, only to see them all fail, and realized that what I love to do most is write. I wrote a book and started blogging daily. And did I mention that I dropped out of a business-school?
  4. I got into debt in order to continue doing what I love. I value what I do more than how much money I make. For me, money does smell.
  5. I hate parties, clubs and Tinder. I had 1 serious girlfriend before meeting a person with whom I want to be together for an indefinite amount of time. We recently moved to London together and are very happy.

At Some Point, I Started To Feel Misunderstanding

Or, if you put it more bluntly, disappointment.

They’ll forgive you your craziness for a while. But there are certain things that are sacred for your parents. If you step on them or (what’s worse) neglect their value, you’ll meet misunderstanding (and disappointment).

I started to notice this during talks with my dad. Every time we talk, I get nervous and say stupid things, trying to show that I am doing something that he wants me to be doing.

In The Beginning, You Feel Cool

Once you break free from the shackles of your parents’ expectations, you feel free. You feel like a maverick. An unorthodox. An innovator — of your life.

It’s fascinating how much I crave my parents approval

Even though I don’t want to live by their model of what it means to be a “good child”.

You Have To Let Them Know

Instead of living with it, letting this sadness of not having approval eat you inside.

Making sense of the world and teaching others. | Subscribe here: | Reach out:

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store