I miss writing.

Sergey Faldin 🇺🇦
6 min readMar 5, 2021

So much has happened during the past few months.

I broke up with a girlfriend whom I dated for 3 years. I received an immigration visa to the UK. I quit my startup job, found two more, and quit them all. I stopped writing — even though I thought I’d never been able to — and got depressed. Then I started wondering why it’s so difficult for me to stick to one project at a time. Then I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and that shed some light on my life. (It’s good to know that you’re not just an idiot.)

Then I stopped publishing on this platform because I felt like I had nothing much to say. I said everything I wanted to say during 12 months — from October 2019 until October 2020 — and I didn’t feel like repeating myself for the sake of claps. I felt like I was burned out. I was in a very dark place, and I didn’t want to spread darkness with my texts. I always want to spread light, and I was waiting until I become calmer, kinder to myself, less anxious and depressed, and then start writing. Of course, I was hiding from the fact that I actually had something to say. My story — like yours — is always worth spreading.

It’s easy to write from a good place. It’s easy to give away advice on how to live when you have $1M in the bank and a nice house in sunny California. It’s harder to share your honest story that you feel stuck, feel that you suck, that nothing works out, that you’re lost, depressed, have 0 motivation, and don’t feel like getting up in the morning. Because sharing these things means facing the truth and accepting the brutal reality. Yet, having this truth in a public space like Medium helps millions of people who struggle with similar issues. You help others realize that they are not alone. They resonate with you and feel grateful that you’ve shared your story. The best texts I wrote were all from a place of ego-less vulnerability.

I didn’t write for three months. Maybe more. Of course, I wrote something here and there, but it isn’t as it used to be. I used to wake up at 6 AM, run 10K, and write 1,000 words before breakfast. These days I barely work and have no discipline or motivation to do anything. Yesterday my therapist fired me as a client because I am too “sporadic” and “inconsistent.” You know you’ve hit rock bottom when a therapist fires you.

The truth is, I miss writing. Writers of all kinds talk about the healing aspect of typing words on the page, and I resonate greatly with it. There’s something magical about sharing your story, being…

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Sergey Faldin 🇺🇦

Honest thoughts. Unpopular opinions. Not necessarily true or smart. | The Guardian, Al Jazeera, Meduza | muckrack.com/sfaldin | Subscribe: sergeys.substack.com