“There’s no Ukraine I am used to. The Russians had destroyed it.” — In the months preceding the war, Anna’s inner circle brushed off any possibility of Russia invading Ukraine. They didn’t give it much thought as they watched the news of oligarchs sending their children abroad or witnessing the Russian embassy burn their files, causing a massive smoke. “It’s one of their…

‘The lack of freedom of speech always leads to grave political consequences.’ — In April 2021, Meduza — the most prominent Russian independent publication — was labelled a “foreign agent”, a mark that’s been used profusely by the Kremlin to disrupt the work of news organisations and independent journalists touching on sensitive political issues. This label, jokingly referred to by Sonya Groysman —…

CHORNOMORSK, UKRAINE — When the Russian bombs started firing on February 24th, it was still before dawn in Arina’s home city, some 15 kilometers from the port-city Odesa (population 1M). The sound immediately shook Arina, her sister, and her parents out of bed. “I immediately understood what was happening. I…

I am embarrassed. — I’ll be honest. I don’t like writing or talking about politics. Where I am from, nobody does. My generation — people born in the late 1990s — was brought up in a dictatorship country with no rights and no ability to voice our minds. We were sold the idea that…

‘If running creates a void, then writing fills it.’ — I can’t seem to write recently. Other than my newsletter and a few bits of journalism here and there — which can hardly be called ‘creative writing’ and falls more under the bracket of ‘technical writing’ or ‘reporting’ — I haven’t written anything in months. To say that it freaks…

To Ukrainians, I’ll always be ‘another Russian.’ Which is to say, I’ll always be the enemy. — When in the aftermath of WWII, the Red Army entered East Prussia in 1945, they committed war crimes that could easily equal those the Russian army did in Bucha. The Soviet people have been humiliated and suffered throughout the war. Mass killings and rape of German citizens ensued. What followed…

Growing up, I always wanted to be older. There’s a favourite photo of mine — I am 5; standing in the center of an old sports center in Podolsk (a tiny criminal city on the outskirts of Moscow); wearing my father’s black shades; holding my father’s black briefcase; pretty much…

One year into the war, it’s clear: there’s nothing to return to because my country will never be the same. — When I was leaving Russia in 2019 and decided to stop returning in 2021 — a year before the war started — I did it for personal reasons. All my childhood, I hated living in Russia. I hated the cold, the bitterness, the grey buildings, the angry people, and the…

‘Who are you doing this for?’ — Lately, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed. Which is to say, I’ve been afraid of my calendar. Its colourful mosaic (yes, I am one of those people who colour-codes event types: red is for important, green is for self-education and wellbeing, blue is for work, etc.) stares at me with a stern…